Comedy: My Car Face/Non-Lying

CAR FACE:
I've been working on my far faces. My favorite is the What the hell! face.

Sometimes I speed up to the person who cut me off just so I can do it. Cept I hate when you get caught at a light. Your right next to the person & you try to play it off. Suddenly I'm not so angry anymore.

Almost as bad as getting caught singing at a red light. ROOOOOOOXAAAANNNNNNE! YOU DONT HAVE TO WEAR... (look's over - mumbles...) that dress tonight... (looks around casually)... Suddenly I'm a ventriloquist. You don't hath to sell your duddy to the night rooooooooxaaaaanne.



NON LYING:
I used to lie all the time. Then I realized you need a real talent for it. You can't just lie. You need a whole mac truck full of lies to get away with just the first one and I was never that prepared. I didn't even have a toyota full of lies, I had a bike basket or a rollerskate full of one lie. That's what I had - just the one.
Where were you?

"Um,... uh.." Rule number 1 - Be incredulous...

"I was at the library, doing my homework project science report, essay, research."

"Oh really? That's interesting. I was there today dropping books off - When did you say you were there?"

"Often. I was often at the library there. I frequented it - off an on there. You never can tell, can you. Ha! You just never can tell."